So, it looks like you like someone.And you're scanning through your brain for possible ideas on how to make them notice you.So far, you've come up with nothing.So, you think: Are there any little things I can do to get them to notice me a bit more?Whether they're a crush, a partner, or even a friend.Here are six subtle behaviors to make people notice you and like you more.

你好像喜欢上某人了。你可能正在绞尽脑汁，想让对方注意到你。但是到目前为止，你脑子空空，啥也想不出来。你想知道：我能做些什么，让他们更多地注意到我？无论是恋人、伴侣，还是朋友。这里推荐给你六个可以让人们注意到你，更喜欢你的行为。

Number one, don't be afraid to talk about your flaws.

一，勇敢谈论自己的缺点。

Ever heard of the Prattfall Effect?

听说过普拉特福尔效应吗？

This is a psychological phenomenon that states that, if you are seen as very competent, making a mistake or small blunder makes you more likable,

这是一种心理现象，指的是，如果大家认为你非常有能力，犯一个小错误或许会让你更讨人喜欢，

than those other very competent people who don't show their mistakes or flaws.

反而是那些非常能干的人，不会表现出自己的错误或缺陷的人，不怎么受人欢迎。

People can sometimes be intimidated by people who seem as if they have no flaws.

人们有时会不喜欢那些看似没有缺陷的人。

So, it's not a bad thing if you do show your flaws once in a while.

所以，偶尔露出自己的缺点并不是一件坏事。

Number two, keep their secrets and share one of yours.

二，保守他人的秘密，分享自己的秘密。

Do you keep secrets?

你能很好地保守秘密吗？

Or are you horrible at keeping them?

还是你特别容易泄密呢？

A 2009 study by researchers Catherine A Cottrell, Steven L Neuberg, and Norman P Li,

研究人员凯瑟琳·A·科特雷尔、史蒂文·L·纽伯格和诺曼·P·李在2009年进行了一项研究，

found that people greatly valued trustworthiness in their relationships.

研究发现，人们非常看重人际关系中的可信度。

The study states: Across different measures of trait importance and different groups and relationships,

这项研究指出：在不同的特质重要性衡量标准以及不同的群体和关系中，

trustworthiness was considered extremely important for all interdependent others.

可信度在所有相互依赖的人之中都极其重要。

The evidence for the enhanced importance of cooperativeness across different interdependent context was more equivocal.

不同的依赖关系对合作的重要性的强调也有所不同。

Trust is a big deal in a relationship.

在一段关系中，信任是很重要的。

So, you might as well show your crush, your relationship material by keeping their secrets.

所以，你需要保守他人的秘密，这样更能体现你对暗恋对象的好感。

One way you can show you trust someone early on is to tell them a small secret of yours.

你可以通过告诉别人一个你的小秘密来表达你对某人的早期信任。

This may just bring you closer.

这可能会拉近你们之间的距离。

Number three, mirror your partner's gestures and behavior.

三，模仿他人的动作和行为。

So, you're at a party.

比如说，你去参加一个派对。

And you suddenly find yourself subconsciously mimicking the gestures and movements of the person you're talking to.

你突然发现自己下意识地在模仿与你交谈的人的手势和动作。

What's going on?

怎么回事？

This instance is called the Chameleon Effect, and was explored in further studies.

这种情况被称为变色龙效应，后续研究也进一步证实了其真实性。

If you're often subconsciously mirroring your crushes gestures and movements, this could make your crush like you a bit more.

如果你经常下意识地模仿你的暗恋对象的手势和动作，这可能会让你的暗恋对象更喜欢你。

Why?

为什么？

People tend to like people who are like them.

人们倾向于喜欢和他们相似的人。

The next question is, do you notice them mirroring you?

下一个问题是，你注意到他们也在模仿你吗？

Number four, show them you like them.

四，让他们知道你喜欢他们。

Are you afraid that your friends will reveal your true feelings to your crush?

你害怕你的朋友会向你的心上人透露你对他们的心意吗？

Well, your crush finding out can often be a good thing.

嗯，其他让对方发现你的心意往往是一件好事。

Why?

为什么？

Because of reciprocity of attraction, or sometimes known as reciprocal liking.

因为相互吸引，或者有时被称为相互喜欢。

This is a psychological term used to describe when one person starts to feel attraction for someone only after hearing that individual likes them.

这是一个心理学术语，用来描述一个人只有在听说某人喜欢他之后才开始对其产生好感。

A 1959 study published in Human Relations told their group subjects, that certain individuals in their group would likely like them.

1959年发表在《人类关系》杂志上的一项研究，告诉小组受试者，他们小组中的某些人可能喜欢他们。

After group discussions, subjects told researchers who they liked the most.

在小组讨论后，受试者告诉研究人员他们最喜欢谁。

Can you guess who they liked?

你能猜到他们喜欢谁吗？

You guessed it right!

你猜对了！

The subjects chose the people they were told initially liked them.

受试者选择最初被告知喜欢他们的人。

So, if you like someone and wanna be friends, or perhaps more than friends, let them know you like them.

所以，如果你喜欢一个人，并且想和其成为朋友，或者更深一步的发展，那就让他们知道你喜欢他们。

This may get them to start thinking of you more.

这可能会让他们开始更多地考虑你。

And then they may just like you back.

然后他们可能也会喜欢你。

Number five, start deep conversations and sometimes paraphrase what you understood.

五，进行深入的对话，发表自己对所理解事物的看法。

Do you hate small talk?

你讨厌闲聊吗？

Well then, don't shy away from starting some deep conversations with your crush.

那么，不要羞于和自己的心上人开始一些深入的对话。

Research from Harvard found that deep conversations and meaningfully talking about yourself can help activate the very same regions of your brain,

哈佛大学的一项研究发现，深入的对话和有意义地谈论自己可以帮助激活你大脑中相同的区域，

that delicious food or sex activates.

这种激活和美味可口的食物或性爱的效果相同。

The study states that over a 45-minute period,

研究表明，在45分钟的时间里，

subject pairs carried out self-disclosure and relationship building tasks that gradually escalated in intensity.

受试者配对进行自我表达和建立关系的任务中，这种强度逐渐上升。

Study 1 found greater post-interaction closeness with these tasks versus comparable small talk tasks.

研究1发现，与类似的闲聊任务相比，这些任务在互动后的亲密度更高。

So, while small talk is fine every now and then, when you're on a romantic date or speaking with your crush,

因此，虽然偶尔闲聊是可以的，但当你在浪漫约会或与你的心上人交谈时，

a more meaningful discussion may excite them more.

一场更有意义的讨论可能会让彼此更兴奋。

When you both open up and reveal your true emotions, your partner may fall in love with the deep, engaging conversations you have together instead.

当你们两人都敞开心扉，流露出真实的情感时，你的另一半可能会爱上你们在一起进行的深入的、引人入胜的谈话。

Actively listening is often seen as attractive as well.

积极倾听也会增加对方的好感。

Remember, it can't just be you talking on first date.

记住，第一次约会时不要只顾着说话。

A good way to show them you're actively listening and that you understand them is by paraphrasing what they've told you.

向对方表明你在积极倾听并理解他们的话，你可以复述一遍他们告诉你的内容。

Repeat it back to them.

也就是向他们重复一遍。

This is known as reflective listening.

这就是所谓的反思性倾听。

So actively listen and then offer what you understood from their discussion back to them.

因此，积极倾听，然后将你从他们的讨论中理解的内容反馈给他们。

It's a great way to show you empathize with them and it can bring you closer.

这是一个很好的表达自己感同身受的方式，可以拉近你们的距离。

Findings from a 2007 research study published in the American Journal of Psychotherapy furthered this theory.

2007年发表在《美国心理治疗杂志》上的一项研究结果进一步印证了这一理论。

The studies have found that when therapists use reflective listening,

研究发现，当治疗师使用反思性倾听时，

their patients had a higher chance of disclosing more information about their emotions.

他们的病人会透露更多情绪信息。

And their therapeutic relationship with their therapist improved.

他们与治疗师的关系也得到了改善。

Not only is it good for your romantic relationships.

这不仅对你们的恋爱关系有好处。

But it's good for any type of relationships.

但这对任何类型的关系都有好处。

Simply put, it brings people closer together.

简单地说，它让人们更紧密地联系在一起。

And number six, display open body language and build your confidence, then show it.

六，开放的肢体语言，建立自信，然后展示出来。

Do you show your confidence when you can?

当你可以的时候，你会展现自己的自信吗？

It's great to have confidence in yourself for many reasons.

对自己保有信心，这是很棒的，无论在哪儿。

And it can often help when getting to know others as well.

当你开始了解其他人的时候，这通常也会有所帮助。

Perhaps, you've heard that confidence is key.

也许，你听过这句话，自信很重要。

Well, showing some confidence can indeed be important when getting others to notice you romantically.

嗯，在让别人注意到你时，表现出一些自信确实很重要。

Displaying confident behavior is often seen as an attractive quality.

表现得自信通常也会更加具有吸引力。

Why?

为什么？

Well, generally, people wanna be confident.

嗯，一般来说，人们想要自信。

So, seeing someone who is can be admirable.

因此，看到自信的人就会发自内心地赞赏。

One way you can seem more confident is if you display open body language.

一种让你看起来更自信的方法是，舒展自己的肢体语言。

Keep your chest and torso open.

昂首挺胸。

And try not to cross your arms as much.

尽量不要交叉双臂。

Closed body language can give off the impression you aren't available or simply don't want to talk.

封闭的肢体语言会给人一种你没空或者只是不想说话的印象。

Availability is key in making friends and simply giving others a chance to talk with you.

有空是交朋友的关键，也是让别人有机会和你交谈的关键。

So that crush of yours, if they notice you look approachable and welcoming, they may just have an easier time introducing themselves to you.

因此，如果你的暗恋对象注意到你看起来平易近人、热情好客，他们可能会更想和你交谈。

There has been a huge decline in mental health around the world, which is why we are so committed to creating more content than we ever have.

世界上每个地区的心理健康水平都在大幅下降，这就是为什么我们想要与你们分享更多的关于心理健康内容的原因。

Thanks for being a part of our journey.

感谢你加入我们！

出处：头条号 @Learningdragon