首先，别人请你帮忙，你如果答应，那么 you are available 你愿意提供帮助的

如果每次别人找你帮忙，你有求必应，随叫随到，那么就是you are too available，你不用为此感到骄傲，problem is not far away 你的麻烦已经不远了。为什么呢？

You are really a good guy and you are there for your friends and for your loved ones, whenever they need support. you truly respect them and value them. You think your kindness make your relation stronger.In the begining they say thank you and gradually things take a turn , you find that they are losing their interest in you, which they had in the first meeting. Your kindness is not returned . what is the reason for that ?

你真的是个好人，每当你的朋友和你爱的人需要你帮助的时候，你都会随时去帮助他们。你尊重他们，重视他们。你认为你对他们好就可以让你们的关系变得更加牢固，刚开始他们感谢你，然后逐渐的事情开始发生变化，你发现他们开始对你变得冷淡，不像你们刚开始认识的那样。你对他们的好，没有得到回报，为什么？

It's because of your being too available.Do you remember the last time you said no to them ? They take everything you do for them as granted and your self-worth is decreased in their mind.

那是因为你对他们有求必应，随叫随到。你还记得上次对他们说"不"是什么时候？你为他们所做的，他们都觉得理所应当，在他们心目中，你的自我价值已经降低

They are alwawys interested in which is lacking, completely disregarding what they already had . Why? Because they live in an instantly gratifying world and get everything so easily from you and your being too available contribute to this mentality by giving them whatever they want . you have trained their minds to be this way for so long .At this level you are the one to blame.

他们总是想着还缺什么，却从来不想自己已经得到什么。为什么会是这样？因为他们已经生活在一个可以无限得到满足的世界。他们可以如此轻易的地从你那里得到他们所需要的任何东西。是你有求必应，无限满足他们的要求，造成他们这样的心态。是你长期把他们训练成这样，所以从这个角度来看，应该怪你。

The minute they obtain something,you should leave them some time in a state of gratitude for it, otherwise,they will immediately jump to, “what else?” or “what’s next?”

你每次给他们帮助的时候，应该等一下再继续帮他们，要给他们一个感激的时间，否则他们马上就会问"我还能得到什么?" "下一次我还能得到什么？"

I also have been there several years ago. I felt bad and then took it as a flaw in my character.”

几年前我也曾有那样的经历，感觉很不好，然后感觉这就是我性格上的一个瑕疵

So from now on, you don’t have to be available all the time, People tend to miss you when you are not around and then they will realize your importance and value

所以从现在开始，不要有求必应，随叫随到。只有当你不在的时候，别人才会想念你，认识到你的重要和价值。

出处：头条号 @阿辉聊英语